Doing Dishes Is the Worst

That was the title of an article I read sometime last year.  I happen to disagree.  I think unplugging toilets is the worst.  Which is fortunate, since my husband will unplug the toilet.  I am pretty happy to do the dishes instead.  I also resolved myself to doing them before we married.  He disclosed that he absolutely hated that job as a child, standing at the sink for hours, just staring at the dishes rather than getting the job done and over with.  And then when we married, he was in school and working full-time, so it seemed only right for me to do the dishes.  And I kept doing the dishes.

Until the kids got older.  

I didn’t want to keep doing the dishes after dinner.  I’d already done enough while making dinner.  And the kids all needed to learn to contribute more.  I also didn’t want them to take after their dad, standing at the sink for hours without accomplishing anything, and I didn’t want to have to harp on them to get the dishes done. 

I think Heavenly Father blessed me with a stroke of genius.  At the end of dinner, I’d call out numbers, based on my calculations of how many dishes there were and how many children were home (because sometimes one would be away). “Five, ten, fifteen, and the rest!”  And those were the numbers each child had to hand wash or rinse and put into the dishwasher.  Hand wash items (sharp knives, wooden utensils and cutting boards, large bowls, and pans) counted as five.  

And they’d scramble to do their dishes quickly, calling out when they reached 5, 10, or whatever.  Sometimes they’d rise from the table early to get a jump on doing the dishes and hoping to get away with something easy.  Sometimes one would hang back, hoping that “the rest” would actually be quite few or just to have some quiet time.  It was usually Becky choosing the latter. 

It worked so beautifully that I’ve had several friends adopt the practice when they learned of it.

Anyway, back to the title of the article: “Doing Dishes Is the Worst.” 

It made me consider what will happen when things fall apart.  No matter what, most of us will be cooking and baking from scratch, and that will entail a whole lot more dishes.  And we could very well be washing them by hand.  I’ve also considered that we might not even have hot running water.  Doing dishes could well become the worst if we don’t prepare to make it otherwise.

And one of the first things to remind ourselves and to teach our children will be to acknowledge how very blessed we are to have dirty dishes, to have the food that makes them dirty.  The second is to remember that if we don’t have clean dishes, we run the real risk of developing illness due to food poisoning and inviting vermin (who will bring accompanying diseases) into our homes. 

The premise of that article is that research shows that dishwashing causes more relationship distress than any other household task and then examines the reasons for that. 

One reason is that, in our modern society, people let the dishes pile up rather than doing them right after dinner.  So the food is crusted on, curdled, moldy.  (The idea of people letting dishes pile up like that grosses me out.  But I guess it happens.)  Then, unlike dusting or washing windows, doing dishes doesn’t elicit compliments.  Unlike the actresses in the Joy dish detergent commercials of 50 years ago, no one today cares about seeing a reflection in the dinner plates. There’s usually no thanks or praise for getting the dishes clean.  They’ll be dirty again soon.

Another reason is that women traditionally clean up after others—they’re getting into the nitty gritty and downright dirty.  Men and children don’t generally do that.  Is it because cleanliness is next to godliness?  Is it because we recognize that uncleanliness, in all its forms, invites disease?  Is it because a clean and tidy environment is conducive to a more peaceful home?  Something else?  Or a combination of all of the above? 

The original article asserts that when family members share the responsibility and work together as a team, they build stronger relationships.  “You rinse, I dry.  You scrape, I load.”  I’m not sure my kids would have ever had that conversation.  They did, however, share more than a few laughs as they raced to do their dishes. 

I see a great deal of washing dishes in our future, more than most generally do, what with all the take out, processed food, and paper and plastic families currently use at mealtime.  Conflict and stress may arise.  Preparing for that and learning a few techniques to deal with it may help us face the challenge with a more grateful attitude and more peace in our homes.

References:

https://getpocket.com/explore/item/doing-dishes-is-the-worst