Good Eats at the TEOTWAWKI Cafe--Miracle Whip Copycat

Being a wife and mother is the absolute best career in the world.  Sure, there are those days when I wanted to trade places with my husband—the baby is puking everywhere, 4-year-old QOTPE is mad at Ellie, so she decides to frame her for the crime of drawing on the walls (but she got busted by Dad instead… bwahaha), 12-year-old Professor decides the ironing board would make a fine ladder for reaching the top shelf of the closet—and then somehow believes that we won’t notice that he hasn’t bent it back into shape, 3-year-old Blueberry Girl chops all her beautiful hair off, applies a whole tube of lipstick to her face (because that’s exactly how Mom does it), and gets nail polish all over the carpet.  (I had a hard time adjusting to girls after two boys, I’ll admit.)

After spending my entire life with my husband and children these past 35 years, I assumed I knew most everything about them.  But every once in a while, someone drops a bomb.  Like two weeks ago when I learned that Blueberry Girl prefers Miracle Whip over mayonnaise.  Surprisingly, Aaron, Father of the Picky Eater royals, has no preference, despite being raised on Miracle Whip.  I don’t think I ever bought the stuff until a couple of months ago when it was on deep discount and we didn’t have any hens laying fresh eggs for making mayonnaise.  I didn’t realize I was opening a can of worms.

Which is what the whole mayo v. Miracle Whip issue is, apparently.  Some people even come to blows over it.  (But not at this house.  The rest of the family didn’t even notice that I’d made Miracle Whip instead of mayo when they used it on BLTs last week.)

I’m a mayo person, obviously.  There’s at least three recipes for it here on the blog.  I never even looked for a Miracle Whip copycat because I didn’t think I needed one, and because I assumed that it had a lot of fake ingredients in it.  Looking at the list now, I can only object to the sugar, and even it isn’t much.  After I test this recipe out though, I doubt I’ll make it again.  We don’t need the extra sugar, and Miracle Whip has more ingredients.  It will just take that much longer to make it.  And why do that when mayonnaise will suffice quite handily?

Homemade Miracle Whip

1 egg, room temperature

4 teaspoons powdered sugar

1 teaspoon dry mustard

1 teaspoon lemon juice

1 teaspoon white vinegar

¹⁄₂ teaspoon salt

¹/₈ teaspoon paprika

¹/₈ teaspoon garlic powder

1 ¹⁄₄ cups oil

Put all the ingredients except the oil in a blender and whirl on high speed until mixed.  Pour the oil into a two-cup measuring cup with a pour spout.  With the blender running at high speed, very slowly pour in the oil.  Very slowly.  Like it should take at least a minute to pour it all in.  Spoon the mixture into a clean jar and refrigerate. 

Links to related posts:

Mayonnaise   

Vegan Mayonnaise Using Garbanzo Bean Juice

Mayonnaise Using Freeze-Dried Eggs