Choose Your Hard

Some time ago I came across the following on a friend’s social media page.

“Marriage is hard.  Divorce is hard.  Choose your hard.

Obesity is hard.  Being fit is hard.  Choose your hard.

Being in debt is hard.  Being financially responsible is hard.  Choose your hard.

Communicating is hard.  Not communicating is hard.  Choose your hard.

Life will never be easy.  It will always be hard.  But you can choose your hard.  Choose wisely.”

I’ve never figured out the “marriage is hard” part.  Maybe I make it hard for my husband, but he makes life fabulous for me.  Maybe it’s because I experienced the “divorce is hard” part courtesy of my parents.  It’s been 45 years and it’s still a very ugly divorce. Anything is easier than that.

Lots of choices in life are difficult.  The beauty is that we get to choose which hard we want.  Sometimes we choose one and realize that the other is a better choice, so we have to make adjustments. 

Along those lines, we can also add, “Preparing is hard.  Not preparing is hard.  Choose your hard.” 

Unfortunately, we see far too many who have chosen the latter option.  When my children were small and were experiencing the consequences or their choices or were weighing their options, I often said, “When you pick up one end of the stick, you pick up the other.”  It was a concept they could understand. And we especially shared it with them when we were contemplating whether to allow that child to have their own pet, a puppy or kitten.  They needed to know that someday they would have to bury that pet.  Becky's experiencing the other end of that stick now as her beloved dog nears the end of her life. 

By now most of you know that I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (often referred to as Mormons).  We have a verse of scripture that says “If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear.”  It is quoted often in our meetings.  Everyone is very familiar with it.  But just to be clear, there are very few who truly practice preparedness.  They believe that when times get tough, the Church or the Savior or their neighbors (who are also inadequately prepared) will rescue them from their poor choices.  Someone is going to be very surprised. I don’t think it will be me.

Several months ago I came across a brief account shared by the grandson of a Sicilian WWII survivor.  This is how it went:

"Whoever chose fire lived. Whoever chose bread died"

Or as he use to say it: "Cu iappò u focu campò. Cu iappò u pane moriu". (Sicilian Dialect)

My grandfather always tells this saying when he talks about post-war times, when he was just a kid in Italy. It is an old saying, but it contains a wisdom that the people had developed trying to adapt to the situation they were experiencing.

In this case the lesson was that a shelter, a warm place to pass the coldest periods was even more essential than bread, food. They were really poor, so they often had to choose between necessities.”

As we can see, this account is in line with what is commonly referred to as the “Rule of 3s.”  People can live 3 hours without shelter, 3 weeks without food.  Being able to keep warm, having a shelter, is more important than having food to eat.  I have no doubt that we will see people choosing between the two in the future and often choosing poorly.  Being cold is hard.  Being hungry is hard.  Unprepared people will have to choose their hard.

Prepared people also have hard choices to make.  It is hard to learn new recipes, new preservation techniques, new cooking methods, gardening, alternative medicine, other ways of doing laundry and keeping clean, and so much more.  It is also hard to only have a few long-term storage staples to work with, fewer cooking options, and limited conventional medicine choices.  And it will be hard not knowing options you can suggest to others who chose not to prepare.  Choose your hard.

For me, knowing what is coming, the choice is a no-brainer.  Preparing well provides the greatest peace.  Knowing that come what may, my family will have shelter, water, food, clothing, medicine, and fuel allows me to fully enjoy them now, because we have also prepared well for the future. 

The Sicilian grandfather’s saying arose from what he personally experienced as a child in a family that was not prepared for the ravages of war.  People could choose to eat or have shelter, but not both at times.  At the same time, there were families that recognized that history repeats, that could see trouble, famine, war, devastation in the future, and who were prepared to meet the challenges.  We just don’t hear as much about them.  Perhaps because it could seem like bragging, perhaps they feared chastisement for not being more generous with their supplies as others suffered.  I don’t know. 

People prepare so that their families won’t have to choose between shelter and food.  We sum it up in our family’s saying, “We believe in being warm and well-fed.”  Being prepared is hard, but it’s like picking up that stick:  when you choose to pick up the one end of getting prepared, you also pick up the other end of being prepared when the crisis hits.

With the choice of a puppy or kitten, the fun is at the beginning and through most of its life; the hard part is at the end.  When one is choosing to prepare well for future challenges, the hard part is the beginning and lasts until the challenges set in.  But when those challenges begin, there is peace in knowing that you have prepared as well as you could.  

Choose your hard.  Choose well.

 2.11.21