Black Bean Veggie Burger

I have always, always, viewed the very idea of veggie burgers with a healthy degree of skepticism.  Like I want to be in the next county if I can't be as far as the next state.  Like whatever afflicts people who would stoop so low as to eat those things may be something contagious.  Or like Colonel Flagg might say, individuals like that are somehow involved in some kind of sick commie plot to destroy Mom, apple pie, and the American way.  Because you know it's true.  

I think I must have gotten too close to one of those people about a month or so ago.  Because I started wondering if maybe trying out a veggie burger might not be such a bad idea.  You know, in the name of food storage and wanting to be prepared and stuff like that.  It's not something I would ever do just for the heck of it.  Just in the name of research.  You know, for my family and my dear readers.  

A few weeks ago I did the preliminary investigation and found a few recipes.  Some of them looked really good, but because my husband can't tolerate bell peppers, I had to go with the one that looked a bit bland.  I waited until Aaron and Lydia left to go to archery practice.  I figured it best to have no one around.  I got the dough going for the buns and then set about working on the black bean patties.  They came together pretty quickly, and they were all food storage items, a huge plus.  It was nice not having any concerns about working with raw meat, but I guess what I really appreciated was that the meat wasn't barely thawed and making my hands cold.  

I formed the bean patties and started cooking a few minutes before Lydia and Aaron walked in.  Lydia made a beeline for the kitchen and headed straight for the stove.  She took one look at the patties and was immediately suspicious.  "They look like they have beans in them," said in her most accusatorial tone of voice. 

She was pretty devastated.  I reiterated the importance of trying these things out in advance of a crisis.  Aaron countered with emphasizing that it would be better to wait for the crisis and then we'll eat it anyway.  However, I'll stand on my position as wife and mom and we're trying these things out NOW.  

So we sat down for dinner.  Lydia tasted it, felt as if she had been poisoned, and begged to be allowed to substitute lunch meat for her veggie burger patty.  Jared will basically eat anything that isn't moving.  So he happily ate it.  My husband ate all of his as well, but said he had eaten better veggie burgers.  I replied that I purposefully omitted the peppers just for him, so he quieted down.  I was pleasantly surprised.  It tasted much better than I thought it would.  Yeah, pretty sure I caught something from someone.

Black Bean Veggie Burger Patties

2 cans (16 oz) black beans

1 cup rolled oats, whirled in a blender to a coarse flour

3 tablespoons dehydrated onions

1 egg

2 teaspoons hot sauce

1/2 teaspoon chili powder

1/4 teaspoon salt 

1/4 teaspoon pepper 

3-4 tablespoons bacon grease for frying

Drain the black beans, but do not rinse them.  Combine the oats, onions, egg, hot sauce, chili powder, salt, and pepper.  Mash the beans well, but leave some beans whole.  Stir in the oat and onion mixture and combine well. 

Heat the bacon grease in a frying pan or on a griddle over medium-low heat.  Form the bean mixture into patties the exact size you desire.  They will not shrink during cooking.  Cook the patties for five minutes on each side.

Now the best burgers, of course, have all the fixings--homemade hamburger buns, mayonnaise, ketchup, lettuce, tomatoes, and more.  Grilling the buns in a little butter will add a touch more flavor.  Perhaps add some strips of bacon or cheese.

Naturally, veggie burgers are not beef burgers and no one's going to be fooled.  But you know what?  They taste well enough.  I could totally serve them to diners at the TEOTWAWKI Cafe.

Links to related posts:
Hamburger Buns
Mayonnaise
Ketchup
Tomatoes